Tribute to Deceased at Wedding

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

My mom is paying for our wedding, so she feels she should have the last word on the planning. Actually, it's gone pretty smoothly, except for one thing. My father died three years ago, and I would like to acknowledge him in some way at our wedding. My mom doesn't want to because she thinks it will depress everyone, and a wedding is supposed to be a happy time. What do you think, and what is an appropriate way to remember him?

Signed,

Need to Know

Dear Need to Know,

It would be wonderful to pay tribute to your late father at this very special occasion in your life. You could do several things: have a memorial candle lit, play your father's favorite song, and/or put his favorite flower in your bouquet. Some brides put framed photos of deceased loved ones on a special table and have a prayer in honor of the deceased before the ceremony. But, as your mother is against doing anything, a good compromise would be the candle lighting, song, or bouquet, and their significance mentioned in your wedding program, if you have one.

We miss our deceased loved ones all the time, but it's especially difficult when there is a happy, special occasion such as a wedding. Keeping his memory alive at your wedding will not be depressing, but will be uplifting.