Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee, My girlfriend had an abortion over a year ago, but still feels guilty about it. She has talked about suicide saying that she doesn't deserve to live after what she's done. I encouraged her to see a counselor, but after several weeks, not much happened, so we stopped going. She cries a lot, and I'm getting tired of her depressed state. I'm ready to leave the relationship as we're always fighting. What more can I do? Signed, Stressed Dear Stressed, Any talk of suicide should be viewed as serious. Your support right now is crucial. Post-abortion sadness, guilt, and depression are common. It would be very beneficial for both of you to seek guidance from a psychiatrist who will be able to provide therapy and prescribe anti-depressant medication for your girlfriend. Grieving and closure are important. Here are some suggestions for getting closure for the abortion: 1. Name the baby. 2. Plant a tree or flower in memory of the baby. 3. Perform a ritual such as a funeral or burial. You could bury a representation of the baby such as a doll, pretty stone, or other meaningful object. 4. Write a letter to the baby asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. 5. Wear a ring with the birthstone of when the baby would have been born. For more information see www.afterabortion.com |
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