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Cannot Disinvite If Wedding Invitation Sent

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

My friend's sister is having a wedding and he accidentally invited a side of the family (or in laws) that his sister and some of his family don't get along with. His sister wants him to uninvite them. He doesn't know what to do. What can he say to them?


What To Do?

Dear What To Do?

A verbal invitation to a wedding by a third party is not usually accepted by the invitee as a "real" until they get the written invitation. If it was only a verbal invitation, then he need only say to the family that he's sorry, was mistaken, and should not have given a verbal invitation.

If the written invitation was actually sent, then it's rude to disinvite or withdraw the invitation. If the sister does not get along with this side of the family, then maybe they will decline to attend. Or, if they decide to attend, they may perceive the invitation to be a sign of a "truce", and hopefully this will be the beginning of making amends.