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Gay Brother Needs Love and Support

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

From a very reliable source, I found out that my brother is gay. He hasn't told me, and I don't think he's told my parents since they haven't said anything to me. I would never have guessed that my brother is gay, he's on the football team, has dated, and doesn't act gay. What should I say to my brother? Everyone in my family is very open and says what they think about any topic. But, right now, I'm at a loss for words.



Dear Confused,

First, your "reliable source" may not be correct. Don't say anything to your brother. If he's gay, when he's ready to come out, he will. When he does, it's very important to let him know that you still love and support him. After he tells you, find out more about how he feels, what he's had to go through, and if he has other support. You might even say you already knew and are glad that he told you. Have a positive attitude, be open, and empathetic to your brother. He will need strong family support.