Compliments for Women - Top 10 Good and Bad Things to Say

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

When my wife looks tired, I tell her, not to insult her, but to let her know that I notice that she is not her usual self. Is that wrong?

Signed,

Can't win

Dear Can't win,

Although you are well meaning and just want you wife to know that you notice her tiredness, many folks feel that pointing out that they look tired actually suggests that they look unattractive.

According to a survey of 2,000 men and women in the United Kingdom, the number one worst "compliment" to say to a woman is that she looks tired. The best compliments were about weight loss and nice smiles (Richard Alleyne, "A man's guide to delivering a compliment. Want to insult a woman? Then offer her a compliment," telegraph.co.uk, April 14, 2012).

Compliments are supposed to be an expression of respect, praise, or admiration. The compliment about looking tired can be considered a backhanded compliment, which is an insult or put down.

Alleyne reports that 87 percent of men say that they give up to three compliments every day to their partners. However, apparently only half the women surveyed take compliments well. Perhaps, it is the type of compliment given that is not well received. The good and bad compliments as reported by Alleyne are below.

TOP 10 GOOD COMPLIMENTS

1. You look like you've lost weight

2. You have a nice smile

3. You smell nice

4. Nice hair

5. That dress really suits you

6. That colour really suits you

7. Love what you're wearing

8. Your eyes are pretty

9. You look slim

10. You look gorgeous

TOP 10 BAD COMPLIMENTS

1. You look tired

2. You look under the weather

3. You look well

4. You have put some weight on

5. You look just like your dad / mum

6. You don't look as bad as I thought you would

7. You're not as stupid as you look

8. You look less tired today

9. You have very large features

10. You're quite broad aren't you