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Ex-husband Invited to Same Dinner

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Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

Although I am divorced, my sister still gets along with my ex-husband and has invited him for Thanksgiving dinner at her house. My sister has invited me, my daughter, and my boyfriend to join them for dinner as well. I would prefer to not be around my ex, and this is a very awkward situation for me. I have talked to my sister about this, but she doesn't listen. What should I do?


Turkey Not Wanted on Turkey Day

Dear Turkey Not Wanted on Turkey Day,

Since your sister is hosting the dinner, then she can invite whomever she pleases. Although it will make you feel awkward to have your ex-husband at the dinner, this obviously means little to your sister as she refuses to change her plans despite your protests.

Therefore, you have three options regarding your sister's dinner invitation, assuming that your daughter is also your ex's daughter:

1) Go to the dinner and enjoy yourself despite the presence of your ex-husband (for the sake of your daughter).

2) Let your daughter attend the dinner without you.

3) Decline the invitation gracefully.

However, if you decline the invitation, then you need to keep the peace with your sister. One way is to host your own Thanksgiving dinner on a different day than hers, or host a different holiday dinner. Invite your sister to attend so that she realizes that there are no hard feelings between the two of you.