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Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,
I've been dating a divorced man with a 2-year-old child for over a year. He was newly divorced when we met. We seem to be just right for each other, we share the same interests, hobbies, views, values, morals, goals, have fun, never fight, think the world of each other, and would do anything for each other. The problem is that I want a serious relationship, he just wants to be friends. I don't understand how we could have all these things in common, but he has this small piece of the puzzle missing - the "romantic" feeling. Actually, we have been more than friends, very intimate, but now he is interested in another woman that he met a couple of weeks ago. I don't see what she has or could offer him that I don't already have. How can I help him see the light?
What is Wrong?
Although you may feel like he's the perfect match, it sounds like it's a one-sided relationship. If he acts like he just wants to be friends, and has become intrigued with someone else, then he obviously doesn't feel a commitment is warranted.
There could be many reasons why he isn't ready to commit. Soon after a divorce, it can be difficult to trust the opposite sex. Having a child to take care of often reinforces this lack of readiness to commit. Give him some space, be his friend, and if he wants to date others, then you should too. But, do not continue to be intimate with him, especially if he is not monogamous. Don't pressure him, it will make you appear needy and desperate. Find some new hobbies and activities to keep busy. If, after a certain amount of time, he still wants to date others then you will know it's time to move on.